Giving What I Got

One of my biggest struggles living on a small stipend which will basically go to bills and food this year will to not be able to financially support organizations and people that are struggling and/or are doing good work. I get a flood of emails every day from organizations to stay updated on their work, and while I would love to give even $10, this year I have to choose even more judiciously what and who I can support financially. Which is why it breaks my heart further when things happen like today.

When I was biking home from church, I stopped at a stop sign to turn left onto a busy street, and to my right was a large group of family members and friends putting on a carwash in the parking lot. A couple teenage boys called out to jokingly ask if I wanted my bike washed. Rain does that well enough for me (when we have it). But the traffic was still flowing, so three elementary-age girls ran over to me to follow up on the boys' question, and ask if I'd just consider making a donation. I asked, "For what?" "Our uncle." Now this is making assumptions, but that would most likely either mean their uncle is sick or in detention for an immigration violation and is hoping to get bonded out. (The Southside Worker Center actually does hold carwashes to raise money to pay bonds for their community workers who get detained so that they can be free and working while they await the decision of their deportation case). In either scenario, these little girls, this whole family, is missing their tío, and they are working so hard for him in his time of need.

Today I could pull out the only cash I had, a $5 bill, and nudge that family a tiny bit closer to ensuring the health and wellbeing of their tío. However, my intentional community in my house is pooling together all of our living stipends to pay the bills and meet our nutritional needs the best we can, and as we haven't paid a month of bills yet and are unsure what a month's worth of groceries for five mouths between Safeway, Food City, Food Conspiracy co-op, and the Community Food Bank will look like, we do not know how much money we'll have left over at the end of the month (for other things, like you know, bike equipment, vitamins, maybe fun things out on the town etc.). There are going to be countless scenarios this year where individuals, families, and organizations call out for monetary support, and in the case of individuals and families on the streets, the question of dependency and how much good you are actually doing is always tricky to navigate. So again, when my heart is broken and I want to support another's mission, on a simple living stipend, financial support is not a simple act. 

But just like everyone else who doesn't have much money to their name, when I am not be able to give financially, I can give my heart and my time. Time is also a privilege to have, though, because I do not have to exhaustingly work two jobs just to put food on the table for my family. Therefore I should be exhaustingly working for others to have more opportunities for decent, humane, good work that can provide for them and their families.