7/29: Family Day

Mmm 6am. My favorite. Well maybe not, but I at least try to keep convincing myself of that as 6am is when things get cracking around here. And unfortunately today, while Jenifer and I had hoped her husband Douglas would be able to have a day off to go to the beach with us for Family Day, we had no such luck. On this Sunday, we woke up to him leaving for work at 6am because he got extra hours using his bus to transport materials for elections to be held later in the fall. But while he got the 6am to 5pm shift, I had the suerte, luck, to be able to fall back asleep again until 8:15am. Guess I needed it after all of Jenifer's and my late night conversations! 

Jenifer seemed disappointed that we would no longer be able to go to the beach (she would probably now have to wait a couple years more until the kids are older), but we took the much-needed time to just hang out at home, do some chores, and play with the kids. I ran around with them, throwing the prodigal squishy baseball that had gotten lost in the darkness last night, all in our pajamas still. They got distracted frequently, but were still excitable and quite willing to get all dusty in the backyard with me.

As she swept and washed the floor inside, she had moved the baby's playpen just outside the door, and the older two decided to climb in with their baby brother just for fun. And I got them to stop play-fighting for two seconds to snap the most adorable photo of the three kids, miraculously all looking at me!

My host brothers, from left to right: Diegmar, Diederich, and Diddier.

And Jenifer took a break from her bustling to pop into a photo with her boys too.

She went about her business then, making my breakfast and bathing the boys as she does every morning. They insisted on playing catch more even after they bathed, so another round of dusting was required for them to be presentable enough to wander off to their church school classes down the street. Jenifer trusts them to make it that far, and she says they really enjoy going, so they definitely make it there! She got to take a load off then, telling me how she has had bouts of severe stress and anxiety, sometimes with migraines lasting for a couple months - ¡ay, parenting! "Los hijos, me traen alegría, pero también los problemas... Mucha presión a veces..." The kids bring me joy but also problems, a lot of pressure at times, she said.

No doubt they are a handful that she largely has to deal with by herself, but to see her gently rocking her youngest while singing all the folk songs she knows is just precious.

We had until noon to talk and have some peace around the house, and somehow Jenifer got to talking wistfully about all the things that are harder or impossible to do now that she has kids. And while she does not regret how her life has turned one bit, she wants more of the freedom and joy and opportunity that a twenty-two year old perhaps should have. She says that le cuesta mucho, it is hard for her, to go to Bible classes on Saturdays led by a family friend like she used to, that she could no longer go to the saint festivals in Managua like she used to every year, and that it is too sofocante, suffocating, to bring her kids into the crowd around Leon's celebrations for semana santa, Holy Week. Don't get me wrong, she loves her kids and she loves her husband, but being her same age, she is still somehow completely my host mom. Our lives have been quite different, and she has been forced to grow up faster in a way I have not yet. But as stressed as she is sometimes, for her to make so many sacrifices for her family and still be following through on her dreams to become a civil rights lawyer that would not only help her family financially but help so many others, she truly is so strong.

And street-smart, let's not forget. Though we could talk about broader issues of family, politics, culture, and social justice, the taken-for-granted life skills were also something I wanted to learn from her. PML encouraged all of us before the delegation to offer to do and/or help with our laundry to be gracious guests, but it was even more of an adventure than figuring out which settings to use and buttons to push in someone else's home because here, we would ask our host mamas to teach us how to do it by hand. And Jenifer thus far had been sneaking my laundry from the hamper and washing it when I was off at delegation activities, but today, I had a few pieces and I asked her to teach me.

Here are the steps, as best as I can describe them:
1) Put water and powdered detergent in a big bucket. Then stick your clothes in and swish.
2) Take out one piece at a time to wash. We started small. With socks. Take your piece of clothing to the lavadora, the sink.
3) Alternate adding a soft, bright blue soap to the item and scrubbing with water, paying special attention to places like armpits in t-shirts, etc.
4) Scrub against the ridges of the wash basin to get all of the soap into the clothing and then all of the rinse water out.
5) Find a place on the strung up cables or barbed wire to hang it up.

My clean laundry up to dry! No wonder these women all have strong arms...

Next home project: making lunch. Without the munchkins running around and getting in the way, I got a little bit better of an idea of how Jenifer prepared food. Today, to flavor some rice, she put a few tiny peppers into the arrocinero, a rice cooker similar to one I shared with my housemates at Carleton last year. While the rice was taking on the sweet pepper flavor, she had some pollo frito, fried chicken, crackling on the stove and was chopping vegetables for an ensalada with tomatoes and cucumbers.

Princesa waited patiently for her lunch too.

While Jenifer was cooking, the boys actually came home a little earlier because, the two year-old had wet himself and come home crying. And his big brother was so sweet saying it was not his fault because he had told his teacher he needed to go but he did not know how to undo his belt. So some tears and a change of clothes, but soon enough they were back to running around crazily and begging for food every two seconds while Jenifer was still cooking. I tried to get them to play catch and other games to distract them from bothering her, but those boys have some serious energy! Thankfully I think we all tired each other out enough to sit down and have a nice meal, with the pollo frito turning out basically like chicken nuggets, but from scratch!

Ay we were so full, but a man selling ice cream pedaled by as we were finishing our meal and the boys had been begging for it. Apparently a few guys are regulars that pedal through the neighborhood, but they all come from the same distribution point so if one comes with one kind, there is a pretty good chance others will come by with the one you want. After we finished eating another ice cream man came by that Jenifer knew and wanted to give her business to, so the kids ran off from the table screaming "Eskimo!", the brand name and she bought drumsticks for the boys and me. She instead waited for another man who would sell orange creamsicles, but another man passed by selling homemade sorbetes in orange and melon flavors, which is pretty cool.

We had a very relaxed afternoon, chatting intermittently as Jenifer cut her toenails so she could wear chanclas, sandals, to church in the afternoon, and as the boys ran around playing. I took a few more pictures around the house too, so here you go!
 

 Touching these two wires together is how we turn on the electricity when we get home at night. Jenifer has to climb up on a step stool to reach them, as they rest near the top of the door frame, but while I am here, this is definitely something I can help her with because I can reach from my tiptoes.

It took me until today to actually read this inspirational picture she has hanging in her kitchen. To translate: "Today I learned that...  The greatest knowledge is God, The most beautiful day is Today, The largest obstacle is Fear, The best teachers are Children, The greatest error is to Take yourself for defeated, The largest fault is Egoism, The greatest distraction is Work, The greatest bankruptcy is Discouragement, The most vile feeling is Envy, The most beautiful gift is Pardon, The most marvelous thing in the world is Love, and the greatest happiness is Peace."

 Diederich loves his trike! Jenifer said like much clothing and many better quality things, she bought it in Managua because it is cheaper there than in León.

Diddier, Princesa, and the squishy Minnesota Twins baseball my papa had brought from home for me to give to my family.

¡Modelo! He's definitely a charmer already...

These are more of the normal expressions, mischievousness from the older one, and annoyance from the middle one.

We played a nicer version of monkey-in-the-middle, where instead of the person in the middle getting frustrated as the ball would keep going around or over them, Diederich, the middle boy, just liked to stand right in front of me and balance against me so I could help him catch it. I was probably assumed to be their nanny, and I got kissed at by a couple guys my age walking or riding by our yard. Nothing to see here, guys, just bonding with my host brothers.

All dressed and ready to go to church with Jenifer's friend Keyli. 

At diez para las tres, a different way of saying 2:50 than what I had been taught in school (tres menos diez or dos y cincuenta...), Jenifer warned her boys to "portase bien," the slang version of "behave yourself," otherwise she would leave them with Princesa, so they bucked up and we walked to catch the bus. This is the view of the street from our front gate: 

¡Dale! Let's go! The ruta, route, is just a couple minute's walk from our house, but on weekends the autobus comes every twenty minutes while it comes every seven on weekdays. Here is the house right next to the bus stop: 

 Well, the church service in theory starts at 3, but we did not leave for the bus until 3... So when it did not come for a few minutes, Jenifer made the executive decision that we should walk. It was about a twenty minute walk along the side of the paths composed of dirt and rock, so one had to pay attention to where they placed their footsteps, especially in nicer church shoes. But dusty feet were understood and forgiven by all.

Even though we arrived at about 3:20, that was also forgiven because the service was just about starting as well. The church itself (you'll see a picture later) was a pretty bare structure in the middle of nowhere (Jenifer said they just do not have enough funds to finish the building), and we walked to the nearby shed to grab plastic chairs. During the service Keyli was actually a ways off on her cell phone because she had gotten a call from her boyfriend and had her priorities, and Jenifer had to get up frequently to deal with her boys' restlessness.

But even though the church building was basically just a roof on stilts, they had a solid electronic system working so we could all sing along with two vocalists and an electronic keyboard, and the words of Catholic priest were so slow, loud, and clear through the microphone that I could understand everything he was saying. And I definitely nerded out, learning so much church vocabulary that I had heard in English and could now understand in Spanish, and I was thankful for the perhaps four times I had been to Catholic services back in the States so I could follow along decently well.

The sermon for today was on the multiplicación de los panes como el alimento para el mar de gente, the multiplication of bread to feed the sea of people. It was a wonderful coincidence, actually, because Pastor Don would be preaching on this very topic the Sunday our delegation returned to St. Luke, and we would as a group talk a little bit about our reflections on how this Nicaragua experience nourished and fed us. And I actually learned so much about some of the Catholic sacraments, as for each one, the priest would remind his people why they performed these rituals: "La eucaristía es el bajamiento del cielo a la tierra... La misa es la lectura de toda la biblia junto así que es el cielo en la tierra... y La misa te protege de la persecución del diablo..." The eucharist is the coming down of heaven to earth, mass is the teaching of all of the Bible and therefore is heaven on earth, and mass protects you from the persecution of the devil, he taught. Furthermore, he emphasized the need for taking what you learn and how you feel en la misa, in mass, and using it every day of your life. "Los peligros te pueden asesinar en el camino," dangers could assassinate you on your walk, but you must then remember the truths of God and act through those truths, he said.

Beyond learning more of the teaching of the Catholic church and trying to refrain from the happy dance that I could understand basically everything, an added bonus was that there would be a bautismo, a baptism! Apparently here it is customary to make the baby, mom, and madrina (godmother) sit right up in the front of the church through the whole service, and before the actual baptism, the priest detailed the responsibilities of those caring for this child. It would be the godmother's responsibility to educate baby Joseph with the teachings of El Señor and give him un imágen (an image) with text to hang on his wall in remembrance of his faith. That part was foreign to me, but I do personally like having my favorite verses around different places in my life, such as on post-its on my computer, but as far as I know, I did not get a godmother to help me with this. But the next set of questions were very similar as a St. Luke's baptismal charge to the congregation, asking the community gathered to teach, love, and protect this child of God in his walk in life and faith. 

In asking these questions, the priest used aceite, oil, instead of water, to baptize the child with a cross on his back and one on his front "en el nombre del padre, y del hijo, y del espiritu santo," in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. And in the Catholic church, as the priest reminded us, "El bautismo es la puerta para recibir lo demás sacramentos," baptism is the door to receive the rest of the sacraments. What I thought was really cool was that even though baby Joseph was the only one in el traje de blanco (white outfit) declaring his new life, the priest added all those baptized are pastors, prophets, and saints. We may have been taught or be tempted to believe pastors and priests are the only ones with access and communication to God, but past baptism, it is up to us to continue learning and be God's hands and feet while we are here. That's my take anyways, take it or leave it as you like.

A fuerte aplauso, a rousing applause, filled this space and then we moved onto song. All of the songs and sayings were by memory as there were no bulletins, books, or hymnals. Jenifer is not able to go to church every week, but she still knows exactly what to say when (I have not gotten there yet, but I also have not been raised Catholic) and knows how to sing along with most of the songs, while I could chime in on some simple refrains at best. Rites are especially useful for poorer communities, especially if there is no time between work and sleep to study the Bible, as Jenifer has told me, or if you are illiterate, or as there is simply no money for programs when your church building does not yet have walls.

The church people greeted one another as we were bid adios with the priest's words, "Bueno, nuestra celebración ha terminado. Vayanse con la paz de Dios," "Well, our celebration has ended. Go with the peace of God." While Catholic churches may be hold the stereotype of being dull, it really was amazing to see how the priest enjoyed teaching the congregation and extending God's peace and love to everyone, and I rather enjoy that he called it a celebration!

I returned our plastic chairs to the shed as Jenifer rounded up her naughty boys, scolding them about how they had learned nothing from church about good behavior, trying to impart on them the importance of walking with God every day. I also took a quick photo of Iglesia El Carmen as the crowds cleared:

Beginning our walk back home. So many tired little legs, Jenifer and I got an even better workout than simply walking home because we traded off carrying the baby and the two and a half year-old. 

The kids were cranky and acting up after we got home, so they got guilt-tripped about acting poorly after la misa. Jeni sighed and said she's tired of this, especially their little antics just to annoy her. I do not know what to do as a temporary presence in the house, other than to be there for her and learn even more parenting than I ever thought I would in two weeks! I stole the boys to play "monitos," a roughhousing game we made up so they could get over the temptation to just bug me in my little room and jump on my bed. While Jenifer made dinner, we would just drain all of the boys' energy out as I gave them piggy-back rides, wrestled, spun them around, and pretend I was wiped and napping until they would jump on me again. Fun stuff! It was actually pretty hilarious, and thankfully useful for their mom.

I had to look semi-presentable though because Jenifer's cousin Enoc came over for dinner. Jenifer begged for a photo of the two of them, but he hates photos and refused to smile. Despite being weighed down at times by her rugrats, she is still totally a twenty-two year old that gets into sassy spats with Enoc and does a little skip and a jump asking for pictures. This was the best we got for the time being.

Then I perhaps had one of my biggest Spanish gaffes... He asked, "¿Te gusta coco?" Do you like coconut? I replied with a "Sí..." A little while later, I attempted to ask him if he liked coconut too, but I accidentally said "la coca" instead. Oh masculine/feminine articles and nouns... I effectively asked him if he likes cocaine! Whoops. Still laughing, he said he would be right back. A few minutes later, Enoc slides through the gate with an actual coconut with the husk still on and everything! I love Nicaragua. Fresh fruits everywhere.

Jenifer had a huge knife for him, so he took to whacking it for a couple minutes and getting all the way through to the meat, he asked for a glass and gave me all of the coconut water, how sweet. 

And here is everybody getting ready for their pieces of the coconut meat.

Now, why does he not like to smile for photographs? 

Diederich in coconut bliss. 

Dinner was ready after our coco adventure, and over gallo pinto, queso, tortillas, and tomates, Enoc really tried to convince me to let him give me a coconut to take back to the U.S. Unfortunately a) I would not have enough room... and b) One cannot simply bring a raw coconut through U.S. customs. But thanks for the offer!

It was nice to have Enoc around, even though he is a jokester and would tease Jenifer. She was happy to have a good male role model around for her sons because Douglas was hardly home and she wants him to share more of the responsibilities with the family. Diddier has been getting into more trouble the last couple months since he has started hanging out with a pair of twins who are a little older and "terribles." Jenifer hopes to switch her boys to a different school next year so they could focus more, but it would cost more as well.

While she has said a couple of times that she feels five years older than she actually is due to stress and responsibilities, she lights up talking about hair like a normal twenty-two year-old young woman. We share the woes of frizz with our curly hair, and while I'm here I have encouraged her to try my conditioner that apparently does not exist here. She adds that she really likes Kira's hair as it is dyed blue and green and that she has always tenía ganas de pintarlo, always wanted to dye it those colors! I asked her about what Nicas think about people dyeing their hair, as crazy colors can come across as rebellious in the U.S., and she says people really do not care here. We joked that when Jenifer comes to visit me someday, I'll take her to a salon to have it done.

As highlights from the London Olympics came on, this further provoked her curiosity about the world. She has asked a number of great questions about the U.S. and our culture that is so influential here, and she already has a good sense of this hemisphere, but it seems she has not learned much about the rest of the world. As much as you can turn on a morning news program in the U.S. and be appalled by the number of people stopped and interviewed on the street that do not know where X country is or Y capitol, we are not alone in this. Education access and geographic awareness about our world are universal issues, highlighted in this instance for me when Jenifer asked if Londres está en los Estados Unidos, if London is in the U.S. Jenifer is smart, she really is, and she has such great curiosity and drive to continue her education so she can serve the common Nicaraguan, but knowledge and exposure are another thing from intelligence completely. Maybe I am just a geography nerd (and a nerd in general), but I am all the more grateful for the education I have had through my parents playing country and capitol quiz games with me growing up and through the public education system. In these two weeks, we are fast-tracking our learning through experience, the best way to learn in my book.